Keeping the Faith

Whatever your personal belief system faith word used often and is a big component of that belief. Having faith can be faith in the scientific method, faith one’s beliefs are logically and emotionally sound, or faith that a deity or deities are helping us. Whatever your personal stance the word faith plays a key role but do we fully comprehend the intensity of faith and it’s meaning?

Too often we hear about faith and have an adverse reaction because for many this word has been used in negative ways. Accusations of not having enough faith and even not fully grasping the physical aspect of the meaning of the word. I truly think most of us have never experienced faith in its full capacity because it is much like an epiphany. Not everyone will have it as the same time and some of us won’t ever have it at all. This doesn’t mean faith doesn’t exist. Instead it means the word faith cannot, for many, be fully understood.

Recently, in June of 2021 I had a split second of faith. I had never felt it before. It was this overwhelming calm where for a microsecond my heart no longer contained fear, a need to control, or any thoughts of concern. It was a bolt of lightning that brought complete peace and in that short bolt of calm I understood how much god was with me and holding me but also the great divide between me and true faith there really was. I had no words. I fell silent and I took in a gasp of air fully realizing the depth of faith for the first and possibly only time in my life. Words can’t begin to describe the calm I felt in my soul and it is something I wish everyone could have so they can understand the absolute freedom faith brings.

Faith is not meant to be something we fabricate for ourselves. Saying we have faith isn’t enough, saying we have it is only a start because we can’t create faith out of nothing. We can no sooner create faith for ourselves by saying we have it than we can ask for the sun to shine at night. It comes at the time it is meant to come.

Have you ever noticed how many people scream at others in anger about how much faith they have? As if using force to drive their point will make their faith more valid. This comes from their fear, and where there is fear there can be no faith. Anyone boasting of their faith has not stood in its true presence because it is so awe striking words fail. There would be no need to booster their experience through forcefulness because the only force available is the utter calm that overcomes you and the divine knowledge that all is well. Mine didn’t hit when everything was well.., in fact it hit me in some of my darkest times to date. This is how I knew it was true faith because my logical mind would never look at my circumstances and devise the ideology that I should be so trusting of the Universe.

I believe faith is in the same line of understanding as the unconditional love of god and a kundalini awakening. We have the vocabulary to name the experience but the definition doesn’t begin to clear the fog and shine light on its extreme force. It is a beautiful thing that we can name things we haven’t experienced because we can talk about these subjects with far less confusion. I write this because for those of you feeling like you’ve lost faith… you haven’t. Lost sight of the goal of faith possibly but it’s never fully gone. Lean in and cuddle into the dark and hard times because that is when faith shines it’s light the hardest and brightest. I hope it shines for each of you soon because once it does you can better understand the depth and love of the Universe for you!

What Doesn’t Kill You

There is a saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Personally I have always felt this saying was uncouth. It insinuates that those of us who struggle with difficulties in life are somehow not up to the challenge that lies ahead and therefore we are making a choice to be weak. I’m not saying we should eliminate this phrase but I think it important that we understand the underlined meaning and where this leads. We are teaching each other be satisfied with standards of care that are perpetuating problems and not solving them.

For those of us who struggle with the many difficulties life can throw our way, such as chronic illness, hearing this phrase seems as though there is a need for the person to stand up and face the adversary. This seems good in theory. Every challenge we face is a mountain to surmount and once we have climbed to the summit we can see the full scope of the story and achievement we have made. We master the lesson through the new ascended perspective and we can then move onto the next challenge. What, however, does this mean for those of us who never stop facing the same mountain, not because of choice, but because that mountain is the card that continues to be dealt?

There is a serious issue in the medical, spiritual, and societal communities that creates an environment for mental strain and trauma for those facing the same mountains on a continuous basis. Medical will often write off chronic illness patients, or any patient for that matter, and find ways to make the situation the patient’s fault. Very little options are provided outside of suggesting to lessen stress and lose weight for the majority of people. When problems persist the patient is written off as psychosomatic and sent to psychology or even told over and over the situation is in the patient’s head. I must ask… how many times would it take a mentally healthy person who has a true undiagnosed condition- hearing these terms to eventually be driven into trauma induced mental strife? By the time a condition is diagnosed the patient is so downtrodden and their self-esteem so wrecked by the years of medical abuse, yes abuse, they now must suffer the mental anguish of coming to terms with not only the diagnosis but the abandonment of them as a patient over years. Currently the average time for diagnosis for dysautonomia for example is 6.5 years. It took me 15 years to get mine and another 27 for my most recent. This is simply to put things into perspective. This is quite an open and wide platform for much damage to be done to a patient.

In the religious and spiritual communities we have a gamut of abuses such as telling people their struggles come from not having enough faith, because they have sinned, or because they do not practice whatever practice in an effective manner. This playground breeds and festers in the wounds of those who feel they have been abandoned by the medical community. They often turn to alternative and experimental treatments in the hopes of finding anything that makes them feel better. Because the medical community failed them they seek out those, such as myself, who work with energies or alternative medicine.

Unfortunately in the shadows an infection of insidious people has grown in the guise of aid- selling snake oil and reaping people of their hard earned funds. They claim this one supplement will cure everything or a practice will bring them more centered. Alternative healing can be a very useful tool, it’s even scientifically proven in many cases, but it is hard for most to tell the difference between someone preying on them over praying over them.

Cult like behaviors begin. If one person has success, for a multitude of reasons such as psychological suggestion and placebo effects, they feed into the mass idealization of these false prophets who only continue to harm and prey on a desperate public. Working in spirituality should never be about the guide’s rise to power but instead about the aid of the person who needs help. Be wary of those looking to rise to fame as they are most often not concerned with the task of healing and helping others, but rather about notoriety, and money.

I have had personally many conversations with healers who come to me seeking me out as a means to help launch their own agenda. It doesn’t take long for “teachings” on tantric sex, personally discovered supplements of their own brand, or even promise that being part of their movement will bring me and my own followers the cure they need. These types of conversations are most often hinging on the fear of the person to gain control. Effectively this too becomes an abusive situation and if the person falls into the trap l, will lose a sense of their own reality, and live their life according to the healer, spiritualist, and even religious organization. Should the methodology no longer work, the leaders will shame the person, use fear again to hold the person in place, and from there the cycle continues.

In society we then shame these people who struggle by not being present in their lives. If they do not fit the picture of what makes us comfortable we remove ourselves from their circle. How many times have you ended up close to alone, if not completely, when times became difficult? How many times after things started going well did those people who abandoned you come flocking back once things were going well? This seems to be the standard of care for our fellow humans. We want others to care for us but when they need care we scatter like roaches to the light.

The problems solution begins with us. It’s about our energy management. We know how much we as a healthy person can take on and that means we need to be mindful and ensure those who we love that are in need are held up and supported. Distribute the duties so not only one person is the solid rock. From there we learn to stand beside people and be their advocates instead of allowing them to be sucked into the abyss of thieves, cheaters, and manipulators. By living by this example we can then be more adapted to aiding our medical professionals in listening to patients who are struggling. If we are kind enough to support and be present to those in our circle who are drowning they may not be the only one to have experienced what they say they experience. We then will see it too, and can vouch for these people, perhaps one day we can take the diagnosis time down considerably for everything from chronic illness to mental illness and everything in between.

So no. What doesn’t kill us doesn’t make us stronger. It makes us bitter. It makes us untrusting. Mostly it makes us susceptible to falling into dark holes with no bottom in sight. If we don’t want our loved ones to be taken advantage of then we have a duty to stand by them. What doesn’t kill us shouldn’t have to be walked alone.